The Guilt of Chore Division

Credit: The Smead Manufacturing Company, Inc.

The division of labor among couples is always a struggle.  Every household has their own way of completing these necessary tasks, and in my household, errands are typically run on Saturday mornings.  Generally, my husband Nate and I share the responsibilities, and since we don’t currently have any children to care for, the list is nominal in comparison to the average family.  Often Nate and I will run those errands together, or I will run them on my own if Nate wants to catch up on some relaxation time (usually comprised of watching Premier League soccer).

Last weekend, however, I had plans on Saturday morning and wasn’t available to run errands.  I wrote Nate a list of the errands that had to be accomplished, and he willingly went off to run them.  He never complained about it, or felt resentful that he had to do these errands without my help, but for whatever reason, I felt compelled to apologize again and again for not being able to help out.  I felt guilty.

I mentioned to Nate my sense of guilt, expecting him to understand it, but the feeling did not seem to be mutual.  He had never experienced the same sentiment on the days I ran errands without him and that got me thinking…  Is this a normal sense of guilt?  Is this another double standard?  Have you ever noticed this in your household?

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